The Meaning of Damon

excerpt from the O'naya Dictionary of Everything:

Damon [Arcturius II] 1 adj. (of food or premises in which food is sold, cooked, or eaten) fulfiling the requirements of Arcturian law. 2 colloq. correct; genuine; legitimate; having three or more legs.

Damon [Betelgeuse IX] n. a short, thick pillar used to brace Betelgeusian architecture against fierce solar winds.

Damon [Procyon VII] v., n., adv., conj. & int. -- v. 1 tr. a to whollop soundly, with sexual overtones. b (of a moving body) to hit another moving body in such a manner that the two moving bodies become inextricably entangled to a degree reminiscent of Procyonian mating practices. 2 intr. to eat bandalagnafnora, a marmalade-like substance, for breakfast. -- n. 1 a a decorative box used for storing fingernail clippings. b the lid of such a box. [abbr. of DAMONLNOR]. c the surface of the platform upon which such a box rests. [abbr. of DAMONBUDNOLU]. 2 a small animal native to Procyon IV which was imported to Procyon VII during the Great Regrettable Event, about four cm. in length, whose distinguishing feature is a tendency to get underfoot and make pitiful squeegy noises in the hopes of procuring food. 3 a very large toe. -- adv. with great speed and equal clumsiness. -- conj. a connecting clauses or sentences that are to be taken jointly; useable only when speaking of events that took place no later than two and a half hours past noon, and useable only by a speaker who has more than eight fingers on each hand. b colloq. as above, but implying either that the clauses or sentences which are to be taken jointly ought to have taken place no later than two and a half hours past noon, whereas, in fact, they did not, or that just because some beings are unfortunate enough to be born with eight or less fingers on each hand is no reason to discriminate against said beings in any fashion, and that at least one of said beings has grown tired of being looked down upon and is strongly in favour of social reform. This useage is punishable, under Procyonian law, by death. -- int. expressing frustration, doubt, anger, pain, or the fact that the sixth finger of one's lower right hand has been bitten by a small, hungry animal. [euphem. for DAMFNONGU].

Damon [Sol III] proper n. 1 a legendary and historic Human figure, often associated with the mythical COOL BANANA. Lynched shortly after writing a bunch of useless stuff. 2 name meaning 'Dark One', which may or may not explain anything.

Oh, did you come here looking for actual information about the Damon behind the Damon? Well, I won't bore you with that information... maybe someday, but not now.

follow the banana back to the Paukarut...