One per customer. Do not fold, bend, spindle or mutilate. Void where prohibited. May contain less than 20% real fruit juice. May contain yellow #5. Open before using. Use before opening. Some restrictions apply. Fragile. If ingested, contact physician immediately. Do not swallow. Maximum dose: 8 per day. Shake gently before applying. For external use only. Do not place near sources of heat. Flammable. May explode if improperly used. Insert tab P into slot Q. Some assembly required. If you experience difficulties, contact the nearest dealer. Instructions enclosed. Do not operate outdoors. Do not apply water. Some shrinkage may occur. Wash seperately. Tumble dry. Handle with care. Post no bills. Read this disclaimer in its entirety before proceeding.

<- uh... yeah. take me back.

This is a page. This is only a page. Had this been a large, slavering, hungry beast, you would no longer be reading this.